Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Marriage Advice: Twelve Steps to Creating an Affair-Proof Marriage

Marriage Advice: Twelve Steps to Creating an Affair-Proof Marriage

There's no way to absolutely guarantee that your marriage won't be blindsided by an affair on your part or your spouse's, but there are definite steps you can take to greatly reduce the probability of that happening.

It's important to know what you can do to strengthen your marital connection and keep your marriage vibrant and healthy. A rewarding, satisfying marriage that meets the needs of both partners is your best protection against the destructive intrusion of an affair.

So what can you do to "affair proof" your marriage as much as possible? The following twelve steps will guide you in building a stronger marriage partnership and help you and your spouse to withstand the lusty lure of temptation:

1. Make your relationship with your spouse your top priority in the hierarchy involving family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, and others.

Make a real commitment of time, energy, and effort to your marriage. You can end up pulled in so many different directions and over-extended that your most valuable and precious relationship can end up at the bottom of the list unless you make it a top priority.

2. Nurture the emotional intimacy in your marriage.

Make time to talk each day, not just about the events that have happened, but also about your feelings. Share on an emotional level-your fears, your frustrations, your joys, your disappointments, and your challenges. Let your partner know how much you value being able to talk to him or her about anything and to connect on a deep level.

3. Show appreciation on a regular basis.

Be generous with compliments and thank you's. Tell your spouse at least once a week how much you appreciate him or her and list the qualities that you love, admire, and respect. Don't worry that you've said these things before-no one gets tired of hearing their good traits praised!

4. Spend time together doing fun things and just "hanging out."

Bonding can deepen when you and your spouse have unstructured time to just relax and hang out together. If every minute of your time together is tightly scheduled and rushed, you'll miss out on opportunities to be spontaneous. Look for fun things to do-a picnic in the park, a hike, trying a new restaurant, going out dancing, or going swimming.

5. Keep your sex life active.

Sometimes being sick or fatigued gets in the way of sexual desire, as does family stress like caring for an ill or aging parent. Certainly the energy and time required to raise children can leave parents drained and "on empty." In spite of these challenges, it's essential to make time for sex. The sobering reality is that most spouses are more vulnerable to flirtations and sexual advances from others when their sex life is unhappy at home.

6. Discuss and resolve issues as they come up.

Don't just bury them or neglect trying to resolve them. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable and causing long-term damage to your relationship. Above all-communicate, communicate, communicate. Keep the communication door wide open at all times.

7. Talk about the problem of infidelity and know that it can strike any marriage.

Bring the subject out into the open and express your feelings and deepest fears. Brainstorm with your spouse about how you can keep your marriage strong and what the two of you think would be helpful in preventing an affair from happening. Commit to telling your spouse if you feel vulnerable or if things start getting out of control in any situation.

8. Share goals for the present and future that inspire you.

When you and your spouse share common goals that you're passionate about, you will feel closer to each other and more connected. It helps you to feel like a real team. The feeling of partnership is important in deepening commitment to each other. Whatever your mutual dream is, the passion you bring to pursuing it can draw you closer together.

9. Make wise decisions about contact with the opposite sex at work and other settings.

You may encounter special situations and temptations on business trips or at business parties or in your work setting. Talk frankly with your spouse and agree on what you both feel comfortable with. If your spouse is on a business trip and the group goes out dancing, will you be upset if your spouse participates? Plan ahead and head off potential problems.

10. Know the danger signals.

Many affairs have started with individuals sharing intimate personal information with each other on a regular basis while not confiding in their respective spouses. Intimacy can mushroom quickly when secrecy is involved and a feeling of connection develops. Other danger signals are having increased sexual excitement about seeing someone in particular, being in settings with lots of alcohol and drinking when your spouse isn't present, and being more vulnerable than usual due to feelings of loneliness, rejection, or anger at your spouse.

11. Celebrate your love, anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.

Value your marriage and take advantage of every opportunity to celebrate, such as your wedding anniversary, the date that you met, your spouse's birthday, and any other special days that the two of you share. This helps to keep the romance alive and also to keep your connection strong. Celebrate your love, your time together, your plans for the future, and the priceless present moment.

12. Support each other's goals.

Make a commitment to help your spouse be all that he or she is capable of being. Your marriage is only strengthened when each of you is happy and fulfilled with your life. It's to your advantage to help your spouse reach goals that are important to him or her, even if they aren't your particular goals. Be positive and encouraging of your spouse's desires to live up to his or her potential.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.

private aviation FBO ground transportation Westmont .. Lockport Chicago limo O’Hare

In The News:

FireSat is a satellite project designed to detect and track wildfires early, aiming to detect a fire that's the size of a classroom within 20 minutes.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reports that researchers have uncovered a Chrome vulnerability used in a cyber espionage campaign.

Preserving voicemails securely on Android: Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals easy methods to keep memories alive forever.

This phishing kit bypasses 2FA via session hijacking and real-time credential theft. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson offers four ways to stay safe from Astaroth phishing attacks.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses Joby Aviation and Virgin Atlantic planning to launch 200-mph U.K. air taxis linking airports and cities.

Fake Apple virus warnings, security alerts and messages are tactics used to prompt you to call a number or click on a malicious link. The CyberGuy explains how to protect your devices.

The combination of artificial intelligence and neuroscience allows a paralyzed man to manipulate a robotic arm by using his brain to imagine movements.

With the help of artificial intelligence, sophisticated fraud techniques emerging today are virtually undetectable to the untrained eye.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

If you need to free up space on your Mac, consider deleting duplicate photos in your image library. Apple makes it easy to do, and the CyberGuy explains the process.

Microsoft is discontinuing Skype in May after 22 years of service. Kurt the CyberGuy addresses other options for internet-based phone and video service.

Tron 1, a Chinese company's two-legged robot, is versatile and can walk, roll and pivot, even on rough terrain. Tron 1 stands 33 inches tall and weighs 44 pounds.

Hackers are tricking people into installing password-stealing malware by making them press keyboard shortcuts under the pretense of proving they're not bots.

Saving the voices of loved ones can be a comforting way to keep alive memories. Kurt "the CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how to preserve voicemail messages.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

The FBI warns that some free online document converters load malware onto people's computers, making their private information vulnerable to attack.

Toyota's compact electric FT-Me is designed to tackle challenges of city living while offering an accessible and eco-friendly transportation solution.

Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says 23andMe's bankruptcy raises data privacy fears: Opt out, download and delete data now.

UBTech and Zeekr unite with AI robot swarms to make car manufacturing faster and smarter. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how the process works.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says Apple's Passwords app had a three-month phishing flaw from iOS 18 to 18.2 patch.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how this super-small electric mini-truck takes a big step toward production.

Artificial intelligence-generated images and videos that use someone’s likeness typically target women without their consent. The CyberGuy unpacks how to protect loved ones.

A humanoid robot developed in China has transformed from a nimble dancer to performing kung fu moves with surprising precision and balance.

To protect memories, documents and personal data, you should back up your information on personal drives, according to Kurt the CyberGuy.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents

Marriage Advice: Twelve Steps to Creating an Affair-Proof Marriage

Marriage & Wedding